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Saturday, August 30, 2008 What are friends for? No, I’m not quoting it from sources, but that’s a phrase which spelt the end of an 8-year friendship. I was taken aback. Thunderous laughter which used to signify her presence was replaced with solemn looks and sunken faces. Joyful words were displaced with snide remarks that could easily slit through your heart like a razor blade. People do change, and the one who caused this change in Jane was a man she met online. I couldn’t accept it. “I’ll tell you when I feel that the time is right.” The “right time” never came. Tom’s a Korean currently working in the United States. He claims that he’s 30, but his looks stated otherwise. Jane’s family members were strongly against their relationship. As time passes, conflicts with her family members elevated and she felt that the only person she could turn to was Tom. Marriage was on her mind even when she only knew him for less than a month. Problems did surface between them, but she chose to handle it-alone. No, the above information weren’t first hand. Every single detail was narrated to me by different friends of hers, and all these bits and pieces were pieced together. Approaching me was the last thing on her mind. She knew I will disapprove of her relationship and she didn’t want to hear things that were against her wishes. I was hurt. I thought honesty matters in friendships. Apparently to her, friends are supposed to stand by her side even when we know things won’t work out; friends are supposed to encourage her in things that we ourselves don’t even believe in. Hence, that explains why she conveniently left me out when she needed someone to talk to. I would love to lend her a listening ear, but I wasn’t even given this chance to do so. What should I do to earn this chance? Time will heal all wounds. Will mine? |
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Saturday, August 23, 2008 The next time before you say “uh-huh”, think again. Women may use “uh-huh” to show that they are listening whereas men may use it to signal agreement. The next time you caused a whole group of people to burst out laughing, do not assume that you’ll make a great comedian. Ask yourself, are they laughing with you, or at you? Communication works wonders. However, the question is not how we should communicate, but rather how effective our communication should be. From the time we entered this world, right till we leave this world, communication has been part and parcel of our lives. Babies acquire non-verbal communication skills to convey effectively their messages and even when we’re dead, our dead bodies will still be able to communicate with the forensic pathologists.  Before we even enter the workforce, the first obstacle will be the interviews. Effective communication skills can make interviewers stand in awe of you. Convince them that you’re the one. That’s the way it should be. Make them afraid of you, and not the other way round. Next, office politics. Face it, accept it, and forget it. Be part of this game, or be an audience? That’s up to you to decide. Humans are unfathomable. So equip yourselves with the necessary skills to protect yourselves. You’ll never know when you’ll need them. And so, I shall end off with a quote from Peter F.Drucker:“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” -Peter F.Drucker 1909-2005, American Management Guru P.S. Picture taken from http://images.google.com.sg/images?um=1&hl=en&q=babies+crying&start=20&sa=N&ndsp=20 |
